Thoughts...

And so not unexpectedly, I traveled in dimensions unbeknownst to most. I went to many places. Ones that I had seen before, and others that I never even knew existed. At times I was intimately embraced by my most pure, most delicate Love, while at others I was staring wide-eyed at the hellish fires of Desertion and Incomprehension - it brought a hot wetness to my eyes just to watch them burn. It hurt. And thus, while I swayed to and fro between the heights of ecstasy and pain, I thought of you. But not knowing what effect my rather heightened state might have on you, and given the late hour, I abstained from calling.

Even now, I remain entrenched in a realm that barely exists: a realm where all realms merge, where the realities of space-time, of emotion, intellect and spirit, of sensory experiences and feelings that cannot be described, dissipate into one neverending eternity. The past and the future are two perspectives on the same interconnected reality joined by the fleeting moments of the present. I ask myself: "Am I still in the present, in the fleeting moments that don't really exist?" No, I think not. I am simultaneously in both the past and the future. And thus, the knowledge of what is immanent has indeed dawned upon me. Is it a blessing? May be, but it certainly feels like torture.

Perhaps I am at the nexus where Light meets Darkness, and feelings, thoughts and actions are simply different facets of the same Divine gem. Or may be I am nowhere at all. In either case, it doesn't really matter as all that exists now is nonexistence. Everything is now One. A glorious and most beautiful place to be, for sure, but how ironic that it doesn't matter, now that I am here.

I look in the mirror, and in my own eyes I see deep crevices full of an enigmatic combination of unimaginable joys and unspeakable sorrows. Others who hear me, accuse that I have seen too much of life a bit too early, and am now entangled in the claws of madness. And being fundamentally rational, I lend objective importance to this accusation as it could serve as a possible explanation of what I experience. But my doubts are dispelled when a most beautiful, almost hypnotic voice speaks from within: "It is real. And it has just begun." And I think to myself, "O God! If this is the beginning, then surely I will perish long before its over." But the voice continues in its most soothing tone: "You already have!"

And yet, I go about doing what I do, as if nothing has happened. But in reality everything has; and nothing will ever be the same. I have traversed upon a new reality... one where "I" don't exist.